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--- 198110 [2016/03/28 20:14] – tyreless
+++ 198110 [2016/03/29 08:33] – tyreless
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 David Ingram (jun.) and Sue Butters
+=====Why I don't Go Bushwalking - In New Zealand.=====
-WHY I DON'T GO BUSHWALKING -
-L\T'NEW -ZEALAND:-
 by Frank Rigby.
-In thirty years of bushwalking I have never implanted a walking boot on New Zealand soil. "Ignorant Ockeri" I can hear you saying. Well, at least do me the courtesy of hearing my arguments first. Actually, I've been to N.Z. only once, and that for a ski-ing holiday when the "guaranteed powder
-snow from May to October" atlft."1-utt turned into a field of rough diamonds
+In thirty years of bushwalking I have never implanted a walking boot on New Zealand soil. "Ignorant Ocker!" I can hear you saying. Well, at least do me the courtesy of hearing my arguments first. Actually, I've been to N.Z. only once, and that for a ski-ing holiday when the "guaranteed powder snow from May to October" at Mt. Hutt turned into a field of rough diamonds after three days of rain! This experience only served to harden my prejudices against the country, all of which were gained at least second or third hand and therefore thoroughly reliable.
-after three days of rain: This experience only served to harden my prejudices against the country, all of which were gained at least second or third han4 and therefore thoroughly reliable.
-First of all, the Kiwis don't even call our recreation "bushwalking",' perhaps because we Aussies invented the word. You must say "tramping" when you cross the Tasman, but the only image that tramping brings to my mind is one of tramps. Understandably, I've no inclination to become a tramp.
+First of all, the Kiwis don't even call our recreation "bushwalking", perhaps because we Aussies invented the word. You must say "tramping" when you cross the Tasman, but the only image that tramping brings to my mind is one of tramps. Understandably, I've no inclination to become a tramp.
-Then there is the climate, or what passes for a climate in that suspiciously green, green land. Sure it's true that the once-a--century draught makes the outdoors almost tolerable. But, believe me, judging from the stories I've heard from returning Aussies, they went in the other ninety-nine years: "It didn't stop raining for three weeks"; "I didn't see the mountains at all - perhaps they're a myth"; "We were confined in a snow cave for nine days" and so on. Oh yes, you Kiwiphiles, you can't deny it. No wonder their Kiwi Jackets and wool shirts are so famous - just look at the superb research
-facilities:
+Then there is the climate, or what passes for a climate in that suspiciously green, green land. Sure it's true that the once-a-century drought makes the outdoors almost tolerable. But, believe me, judging from the stories I've heard from returning Aussies, they went in the other ninety-nine years: "It didn't stop raining for three weeks"; "I didn't see the mountains at all - perhaps they're a myth"; "We were confined in a snow cave for nine days" and so on. Oh yes, you Kiwiphiles, you can't deny it. No wonder their Kiwi Jackets and wool shirts are so famous - just look at the superb research facilities!
-Because of the climate the rivers are reputed to be almost unfordable,- raging torrents of glacier milk that will either drown you or freeze you solid. Apparently the trampers form human chains and it is usual to sacrifice one or two members of the party at each crossing. Contrast them with our gentle: streams where you can keep your feet dry and still have an optional swim in the pools.
-Then there is, allegedly, a remarkable creature with the improbable name of "kea". It is supposed to be a bird, but judging from the accounts One hears (and they are legion) it may well be a devil-devil. Undoubtedly,
+Because of the climate the rivers are reputed to be almost unfordable, raging torrents of glacier milk that will either drown you or freeze you solid. Apparently the trampers form human chains and it is usual to sacrifice one or two members of the party at each crossing. Contrast them with our gentle streams where you can keep your feet dry and still have an optional swim in the pools.
-it i the scourge of all trampers in Kiwi-land. It will thieve anything from an expensive camera to an irreplaceable boot and make off with the loot, squawking in triumphant glee. The keas will peck holes in your new snow- tent and gobble up all your food. I ask you, can you possibly win when this
-mischievous tormenter has wings and you don't?
+Then there is, allegedly, a remarkable creature with the improbable name of "kea". It is supposed to be a bird, but judging from the accounts one hears (and they are legion) it may well be a devil-devil. Undoubtedly, it is the scourge of all trampers in Kiwi-land. It will thieve anything from an expensive camera to an irreplaceable boot and make off with the loot, squawking in triumphant glee. The keas will peck holes in your new snow- tent and gobble up all your food. I ask you, can you possibly win when this mischievous tormenter has wings and you don't?
-But the keas, it seems, are almost lovable by comparison with the
-notorious N.Z. sandflies. Myriads of these nasty, vindictive little horrors
+But the keas, it seems, are almost lovable by comparison with the notorious N.Z. sandflies. Myriads of these nasty, vindictive little horrors have driven many an Aussie half-crazy. "Give me the March flies of the Snowy Mountains anytime" I have heard them cry. "Stay above the treeline" is, apparently, the standard advice - I'm not sure though how one stays alive while reaching said treeline. Any advice? Alternatively, it is possible to barricade oneself in a hut, where one will probably be driven, anyway, by the climate.
-have driven many an Aussie half-crazy. "Give me the March flies of the Snowy Mountains anytime" I have heard them cry. "Stay above the treelin0 Is, apparently, the standard advice - I'm not sure though how one stays alive while reaching said treeline. Any advice? Alternatively, it is possible to barricade oneself in a hut, where one will probably be driven, anyway, by the climate.
-Talking of huts reminds me of a song we usedto sing around the campfire. It was introduced to we Aussies by the Kiwis themselves-so-it must be true.
+Talking of huts reminds me of a song we used to sing around the campfire. It was introduced to we Aussies by the Kiwis themselves so it must be true.
-Page 10	TEE SYDNEY BUSHWALKER	October, 1981.
-	a.
 The lines that stick in my memory go something like this:
-"I've had-e,	.
-Of trips where the. -hut s r - full 2
+"I've had a gutsful\\
-No more double bunking, Double bunking for me."
+Of trips where the huts 'r' full,\\
-The Kiwis don't appear to have songs about beautiful campsites; oh no only songs about huts where double bunking is a way of life:
+No more double bunking,\\
-The pack weights they, carry in N.Z. really daunt me. What the trampers put 1n them to achieve loads of sixty pounds and upwards is a mystery but one assumes that it must be necessary to stay alive. It goes without saying that with that burden on my back, I wouldn't survive the first day.
+Double bunking for me."
-Finally, there is the firewood, or more correctly, the stuff their
-trees are made of. Virtually incombustible, they say, but don't worry, just forget it and pack your chuffa instead. Perhaps "me al' black billy" just
+The Kiwis don't appear to have songs about beautiful campsites; oh no, only songs about huts where double bunking is a way of life!
-wouldn't be appreciated in N.Z. If only the Kiwis would clear-fell their,
-native forests and replant the whole country with eucalypts we might even accept them as our seventh state:
+The pack weights they carry in N.Z. really daunt me. What the trampers put in them to achieve loads of sixty pounds and upwards is a mystery but one assumes that it must be necessary to stay alive. It goes without saying that with that burden on my back, I wouldn't survive the first day.
-Well, there it is, folks - scenery that can't be seen, toes that turn to webbed feet, rivers of death, misery-making wildlife, sardine tin huts,
-packs that grind you into the glaciers and firewood that isn't. Please don't let me put you off but
+Finally, there is the firewood, or more correctly, the stuff their trees are made of. Virtually incombustible, they say, but don't worry, just forget it and pack your chuffa instead. Perhaps "me ol' black billy" just wouldn't be appreciated in N.Z. If only the Kiwis would clear-fell their native forests and replant the whole country with eucalypts we might even accept them as our seventh state!
-Because "The Sydney Bushwalker" is a famous magazine with world-wide circulation, I suppose this article will be widely read in New Zealand. I
-am therefore expecting to see shortly .a retaliatory piece in the "Tararua Tramper", or similar, entitled "Why I Don't Go Tramping - - in Australia".
+Well, there it is, folks - scenery that can't be seen, toes that turn to webbed feet, rivers of death, misery-making wildlife, sardine tin huts, packs that grind you into the glaciers and firewood that isn't. Please don't let me put you off but...
+Because "The Sydney Bushwalker" is a famous magazine with world-wide circulation, I suppose this article will be widely read in New Zealand. I am therefore expecting to see shortly a retaliatory piece in the "Tararua Tramper", or similar, entitled "Why I __Don't__ Go Tramping - - in Australia".
 Come to think of it, I could even cop a blast or two from the local Kiwis and the Aussies who have dared to enjoy these tiny islands off our south-east coast. Hostile letters to the Editor, angry articles in rebuttal and downright libel will be dealt with promptly after I've consulted my solicitor.
-Perhaps, after all, I ought to take a tramp up the Mitukituki Valley or womewhere next summer just to confirm my prejudices. Any starters?
-* * 4 * * * * * * * * * *
+Perhaps, after all, I ought to take a tramp up the Mitukituki Valley or somewhere next summer just to confirm my prejudices. Any starters?
-HOUSE/CAR SWOP IN NEW ZEALLED.
-Bill Gamble has received a letter from a walking acquaintance in New Zealand, asking if he knows of anyone interested in swopping hcmes and cars for a month commencing 26th December, 1981. If any Club members (despite . the above article) are contemplating a North Island holiday soon, John and Dawn Barker may be good people to contact. Their address:-
+=====House/Car Swop In New Zealand.=====
+Bill Gamble has received a letter from a walking acquaintance in New Zealand, asking if he knows of anyone interested in swopping homes and cars for a month commencing 26th December, 1981. If any Club members (despite the above article) are contemplating a North Island holiday soon, John and Dawn Barker may be good people to contact. Their address:-
 J..A. Barker, Chartered Accountant, P.O. Box 2309, Auckland 1, New Zealand. Telephones (in N.Z.): 793'902 (bus.), 466 411 (home).
-And who said boots were mandatory in the N.Z. mountains, with this
-recollection of John by Bill: "Looking back downhill, I saw this bloke in
+And who said boots were mandatory in the N.Z. mountains, with this recollection of John by Bill: "Looking back downhill, I saw this bloke in sandshoes, no socks, jogging uphill and then proceeding to kick his way across a steep slope of packed snow." Ouch! (Mt.Hart, Milford Track, March 1976)
-sandshoes, no socks, jogging uphill and then proceeding to kick his way across a steep slope of packed snow." Ouch: (Mt.Hart, Milford Track, March 1976)
-Page 11	THE SYDNEY BUSHWALKER	October, 1981.
 LETTER TO THE EDITOR	from Tom Herbert.
 Dear